Day 4 June 4, 2009

Four o’clock in the morning and I’m awake. Starting to believe that it’s not because of the sleep schedule I was on, and starting to wonder if the steroids gave me insomnia. No real clue. Will be talking to the nurses and doctor about it later.

On to more pleasant endeavors. Last night’s dinner. Jason and Mary arrived at around 7:30 pm. Driving here, Jason saw a Greek restaurant and was tempted to go there. I had no particular cravings and the small amount of Greek like food I’ve had, (Uncle Nick’s and Basil Café) were good. Mary just wanted food. Jason went online found a bunch of other restaurants and reviews on nearby restaurants, but was sold on Demetri’s Restaurant when he read a review that talked about the flaming cheese appetizer. For those of you who don’t know, Saganaki is one of Jason’s most favorite appetizers.

It was a nice place, good décor, looked like a Greek Restaurant, with fake ivy climbing the booths, low music, loud talk, everyone was really friendly. I was worried about walking into the place in jeans, but no one batted an eyelash. We sat down and started looking at the menu. It was a little higher in price then Rockford, but I was expecting that, so no big deal.

After much thinking, on Jason’s part, (I was sold on something right away and so was Mary. We may not be very good at deciding where to eat, but once we’re in a restaurant, we know what we want.) we finally ordered. Appetizers: Saganaki, and Greek sausage. Jason ordered the spinach and feta cheese stuffed filo dough with a lemon and herb chicken soup, Mary ordered the Greek Chicken with salad, and I ordered chicken and vegetable in cream sauce stuffed in filo dough with salad.

The saganaki was fun to watch. For those of you who have never had it, it’s a piece of Greek cheese; don’t remember what kind, that is flambéed with brandy. The real stuff is flambéed with Ouzo, which they don’t have in the US. Fun to watch. Good to eat. Jason ate half of it and Mary and I shared the other half. Jason’s favorite and both Mary and I wanted to leave room for the entrée. The sausage was interesting as it was flavored with orange peel. It had a milder flavor then most sausages and was pretty good, but once again, did not want to eat too much.

The salad was tasty: lettuce, onions, tomato, feta cheese and Greek dressing. Simple and yummy. I tasted Jason’s soup. It was very nice. Had a good flavor. I’m not big on cooked lemon, which is to bad as I love fresh lemons, but the soup did not have the metallic taste that cooked lemon usually has. It was really comfort food. Would be terrific for sick days.

We really didn’t have to wait too long between each course. Just long enough to digest a little to give more room for the next course.

The entrée was divine. The chicken was tender and juicy, the vegetables were perfectly tender and the sauce was so tasty, reminded me of some of the cream sauces my Maman used to make when I was a kid. All the flavors mixed so well with the filo dough, I just wanted to devour the whole thing. I didn’t, as there were also Greek fries: two thick cut potatoes that were cooked in herbs and lemon juice. I wanted to like it, I really did, but the metallic taste was too much for me. I gave the fries to Mary and Jason. There was also thin cut zucchini and yellow squash, which were tender and yummy, and had enough herbs to allow the vegetables own flavors to come through. The filo dough was the best though. I ate half of it and Jason took the rest home. He had too. I have too much food already here that I want to eat. Don’t want to waste it and do not want to try and take it back to Rockford on Saturday, as I do not have a cooler. Sigh.

The most fantastic part of the meal was desert. Left room for desert, just in case. They had Crème Caramel. I was torn between that and the rice pudding, asked the waiter (his name was Demetri as well; but it was not his place, we asked and joked about it) and he suggested the Crème Caramel. I was easily sold on it, as I have not had Crème Caramel in a long, long time. Maman used to make it. It was one of my favorite deserts.

It was so good. Creamy with just enough caramel to coat the custard without over powering it. Reminded me of home: comfort food all the way. Jason left the table before the deserts arrived to use the restroom. He ordered the Crème Caramel as well. I told him if he hadn’t come back before I was done with mine, I would have started in on his. I was done with mine by that time and he gave me a bite of his. Isn’t that sweet? J

Mary had a walnut cake, which was moist and tasty, but the Crème Caramel could not be topped. It was so good.

The best part of the meal, as if everything wasn’t fantastic, was that Mary brought me an awesome surprise: two pieces of Chocolat. A plain truffle (probably my favorite) and a lemon basil bonbon. I had the lemon basil, as it seemed to fit the dinner better, while Mary and Jason gave themselves cancer. Love them both; wish they’d stop smoking.

It was a wonderful evening and made me smile. I love good food.


Woke up bad this morning. Can’t shake it. Hopefully today goes well at the clinic. I’ll probably sleep all day; then probably won’t sleep tonight. Arg. Oh well. That’s the way things go sometimes. I’ll be all right though.

Breakfast was awesome. The motel has a large Indian clientele, as I may have mentioned yesterday, and therefore have a small amount of Indian food for breakfast. They had badly made nan, fried instead of baked, probably, but still good, and a large container of this yogurt vegetable stuff. Can’t remember the name, but I discovered it at India House in Rockford and LOVE it. Had a big bowl of that and some nan. Yum. Ate too much. Once again, oh well. Tasty food is worth it.


Here I am at the clinic. Didn’t have to do the steroids today, which will actually get me out of here by 2pm instead of 4pm. That is really nice and at the same time, kind of annoying, as I have nothing else to do. The nurses gave me a FREE prescription for a sleep aide; I will be using that tonight so I can actually sleep. Won’t that be nice?

Andy only had to stick me once, which was fantastic. Had a little bit of pain, but once again used the breathing technique and let my right arm relax and tensed the rest of my body. Thanks to Nicki for telling me that the breathing exercises work for her. Helped me to feel that I was doing right. So I’m hooked up to the IV, just waiting around for it to get done.

I’m in a new room today. It’s pretty, and bigger. The first room I had, the chair was against the window, so I could not look out of it. The window faced a little enclosed garden, and the office next door. Who wants to look at other people working?

This one is half again as big as the other, has two picture windows that face what I believe is a willow tree, (those trees that have the big long branches with all the leaves that hang down almost to the ground), and a slope that leads to a river. So basically, I’m looking at the four elements: earth, wind (blowing around the branches), water (river) and fire (in the form of the sunlight hitting the leaves and the grass and lighting up the far slope and the water). This is a good room. The windows have blinds on them and one is closed so I can sleep if I want, and the lights are out, so its all natural lighting and it is so quiet and peaceful. I’ll be in this room for the next two days. It makes me feel better to be in here. This room is calming me and helping my worries to drift…

Maybe it will inspire me to write…or sleep. We’ll find out…


That was awesome! I just talked to George and Francoise, my uncle and aunt from France. Well, one set of uncle and aunt anyway. I have a lot of family in France. I miss them all as I have not seen most of them in WAY TOO LONG. My own fault. I digress. So they called the clinic and I talked to them for about 10 minutes. It was really wonderful. I can apparently get calls while at the clinic. I have a prepaid cell, but well, it’s prepaid. Not a lot of minutes. Had I known I could get calls at the clinic, I would have told you all about it before.

For those of you who don’t know George and Francoise, that would be all my friends, they live in St Pierre/Quiberon, in a converted post office. They bought the place a long time ago and changed all the rooms to look like bedrooms, kitchen, living room, dining room and everything else. They have a very nice place. When I used to visit them, we would dress for the beach in their house, wrap towels around our waists and walk the 2-3 blocks to the beach. George taught us (me and my sis) to water ski one summer. That was awesome! I’ve also been on a catamaran in St. Pierre with my cousin Eric (not their kid) and did loads of other water activities with various other cousins. France is a cool place, even better when you get to spend time with family on the water.

Another good memory. George and Francoise have a boat, which they took us sailing on. One Bastille Day, July 14, (French Independence day) we went out onto the water to watch the fireworks from not one town, but many towns. Fireworks over the ocean are so beautiful: the darkness of the water did little to diminish the vibrant colors of the fire blossoms. The calm air on the Atlantic rocked the boat a little, as it will, and the sea added to the gentle rocking. There was probably wine and cheese and other food, but I can’t really remember. It’s been a long time. But oh, such lovely memories.

Merci beaucoup pour le coup de telephone, George et Francoise!


Well this has been a weird day. As I stated earlier, I woke up really early. I had a bad night’s sleep and I woke thinking about none too fun stuff. Doesn’t matter what it was, all that’s important is that I did not wake up with pleasant thoughts. Those thoughts stayed with me the whole day, due to my lack of sleep. Well, when Cathy unhooked me at 1:37 pm she stated she was not comfortable letting me leave the clinic yet, as I felt warm, but had no fever and I was having some issues with my breathing. The doctor listened to my lungs and it was not an asthma attack or anything like that, my lungs sounded good, I just didn’t drink enough water today.

So at 2pm, Cathy had me lay down on the bed that’s in here, and I tried to sleep. I tried breathing techniques to make sure that my mind did not wander to the unpleasant thoughts, but alas, it strayed. Well then something really weird happened. I could swear I was not sleeping, but I had a nightmare.

I was in the room I’m using today, talking with the lady I met yesterday, Pam, and she was hooked up to an IV. When I talked to her yesterday, she was still hooked up; I wasn’t. So dream was mirroring reality. Then someone came into the room to take Pam away, and I was suddenly hooked to the IV, but not through my arm. It was through my stomach: a wide piece of plastic that looked to be five or so hard plastic tubes were going into my gut. I looked down at myself and said, “Wait a minute. I’m not the one hooked up!” I then proceeded to rip the tubing out of my gut. There was no pain, as this was a dream, but then this man appeared who looked like Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Picture Show, but scarier and more zombie like. He opened his mouth while reaching for my gut wound and blood and gore and worms came out of his mouth.

That’s when I woke up with a clear mind. Nightmare broke my bad mood. Which was cool, but odd. Still don’t know how I feel about a nightmare making me feel better.


Bo came by today. It’s always nice spending time with Bo. If you don’t know him, you should. He came by after I left the clinic, we had dinner (stuff I’d made for the week) and ice cream! I had to stop at the pharmacy to pick up my sleep aide prescription (hope it works). When Bo called me to let me know he was on his way, he asked if I wanted anything and then stated he could bring me ice cream, to which I reminded him it was a 2 hour drive from Rockford to Northbrook. He decided not to bring ice cream, which is why I had to buy some. And he brought me truffles from Chocolat. Hee hee hee. Two days in a row my lovely friends come to visit and bring me wonderful treats from Chocolat by Daniel.

For those of you who don’t know about Daniel, he was trained in Paris, amongst other places in the world as a chocolatier (spelling is off, but I think you get my drift). The man knows what he is doing when it comes to chocolate. It is the most wonderful stuff I have tasted in quiet some time, and he is in Rockford. Jackpot.

So we sat and talked and it was a really nice way to spend the evening, as Bo is very adept at listening to people (he is a Pastor; it’s kind of his calling). Bo left just as Jason called and I got to talk to the hubby for about half an hour, always a nice thing. And now here I am, waiting for 9pm to roll around so that I can take my sleep aide and actually F***ing sleep. I hope.

My other hope is that tomorrow brings better spirits. It’s my last day hooked up to meds, for which I am very grateful. I keep seeing the bruises on my arms from the puncture holes that missed and worked and all I can think of is ugly. It looks terrible. Even the tape and bandages left red marks. I’m glad you can’t see me Maman, I think you would be very worried and very upset by the way my arms look. I don’t hurt; it just looks awful. But hey, after tomorrow, I don’t have to get any more medicine for a whole year, and really, that’s the best part of all this. I can concentrate on other things, like exercising, which I definitely need to do to help myself stay as healthy as possible, and hey who knows what else might happen if I don’t feel as sick anymore? I might actually socialize again.

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