Life at the moment

The most difficult part about being a widow who is dating someone new, is that all the experiences I have with my new man seems to be something I did with Jason, something Jason and I would not have done, or something I learned because of Jason. And no, I don’t mean the dirty fun stuff, just everyday life things.

It messes with my head. And my heart, too.

The new man in my life is patient and understanding. He is willing to help me through whatever I’m feeling and is wonderful enough not to be bothered when I mention Jason’s name or tell him about the memories I have. They knew each other; I think that helps a lot.

I have a hard time understanding why I’ve been lucky enough to find not one good man, but two good men, who are willing to help me along my path in life.

It’s not easy being a widow – heck, it’s not easy being alive – but with the right people around me, I feel like anything is possible.


Addendum 11/3/2014

You live with someone long enough, and you become used to their face. That’s probably obvious. What might not be obvious is that when I started dating my new guy, I sometimes felt like I was looking at the wrong face…

I thought I would have to let Jason go in order to feel right with my new guy. Last night, I realized that it’s not about letting Jason go, it’s about letting my heart grow. Which I prefer.

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