Daily Prompt: account

From Protector of the Grey House:

“Don’t skip anything on my account, sir.” She spoke as quietly as he had.

Vincent smiled. “Turn around.”

Natalia turned, sighed as his arms encircled her. She laid her head against his shoulder, and pulled her dress away from her shoulder. She tensed as he growled softly into her neck and then traced her vein to her shoulder. She dug her fingers into his thigh as she became aroused. She moaned when his teeth sank into her flesh, and succumbed to his lustful sucking. He took three swallows, pulled away, and placed his handkerchief to her shoulder to stop the flow of blood. She reached up to hold the kerchief in place as he brought his arms in front of her. He tried hard not to contemplate the taste in his mouth as he used his nail to cut into his wrist and instructed her.

“Take three swallows.”

Daily Prompt: nature

This works, as this scene (the entirety of it) shows Vincent’s true nature, and it takes place in a Nature Preserve.

From Protector of the Grey House:

Vincent waited patiently for the human to come closer. The man jogged along the path oblivious of any dangers. He wore headphones and looked to be lost in the motion of running. During the day, this path was well used by joggers, bicyclists, and walkers. As it was two in the morning, it was empty of people. The large vampire was surprised there was anyone. Lorraine informed him this path was only rarely used this early in the morning, and generally only by one or two people. Vincent kept himself hidden as he thought of his next steps.

They were in a Nature Preserve. Technically, the park was closed. Technically, neither he nor the man should be here. Lorraine looked for these types of things, to find humans they could use for sport, if it were needed. His sire assured him it was safe. The man lived nearby and snuck into the park every night after work. He was a supervisor at a nearby call center. If he went missing, there wouldn’t be a hunt. His death would not bring Slayers.

Daily Prompt: movement

From Protector of the Grey House:

“She found the room and went into it against my will.”

“Her mind was not her own.”

He stilled his movements, his hand at his side. His hands were balled tightly into fists. His voice was deadly calm. “That woman has told me time and time again she cannot be controlled. Anything that happened is her fault. Get her back here now.”

“You need time to think. I will leave you to it.” Joseph started to walk to the door.

“If you leave here without telling me where she is…”

Joseph stopped and turned to look at Vincent. “You’ll what? You stopped that sentence as you know your anger is unfounded. There is more here than you understand and a part of you knows that. Allow yourself time to calm. If you need time to visit Lorraine, then do so. Talk to Natalia when you are ready.”

Daily Prompt: coincidence

From Protector of the Grey House:

A cold dread worked itself into her gut. Donavon had been spending time with a woman while in San Francisco. Natalia had an awful feeling that the dangerous vampire was seeing Ashley. She tried to convince herself it was a coincidence; Ashley was here to visit a sick friend or relative. It was a hard lie to tell herself. Ashley had no relatives and her Slayer friends almost never went to the hospital. Natalia learned early that coincidences didn’t happen if you knew of the real terror that gripped the fragile human world. She started across the street then jogged as Ashley entered the hospital. Once inside, Natalia used the stairs to run up to the floor the Mayor was on, knowing Donavon would be there. She was able to hide herself well enough to observe Donavan at the Mayor’s door as she waited for the inevitable.

Natalia didn’t keep an eye on most of the Slayers. Their lives were their own. Every once in a while, though, she searched for Ashley, never approaching her, but watching to see if the girl was headed out of the Slayer mentality. Too many times the answer was no. The girl seemed to need the Slayers and they didn’t mind having her around. Natalia’s thoughts parted as Ashley finally emerged from the elevator and walked quickly to Donavon.

Daily Prompt: element

From Protector of the Grey House:

Next to her, Rebecca was taking slow deep breaths. She laid a hand on Natalia’s knee, trying to calm her. All were silent; all were tense. They could smell the battle adrenaline. The wolves wanted to be out of the car. Vincent wanted the element of surprise, meaning the wolves and Natalia had to stay put until they received the text. The other werewolves were meditating, breathing deep, trying not to think about the fight, trying to stay calm. It wouldn’t do to start a fight in the car. All were in street clothing, things they could afford to rip to shreds. They would be getting into a fight. It wouldn’t do to ruin good clothing when they changed.

It was three a.m. before the text came. Natalia nearly jumped out of her skin. Orlando, who was sitting to her right, opened the door and stepped out. He held the door open for Natalia then helped her on with the scabbard as the others left the car. Once the sword was strapped on, she stood a little taller. Orlando took a step back; a little disturbed by the way she looked. He still wasn’t used to seeing that look on a human. It was an animal look: the look a cat gets right before it pounces on the unsuspecting mouse; meaning to toy with it until the poor thing is dead of fright.

Daily Prompt: student

This was part of the original short story that started this trilogy. The scene hasn’t changed much over the years.

From Protector of the Grey House:

“What’s your name boy?” He inquired, like a teacher asking an unruly student on the first day of class.

            “damien”

It was a whisper. Vincent barely heard him. He wasn’t choking him, as the boy didn’t need to breathe, but he still needed air to speak. Vincent loosened his fingers and asked again.

The boy took a deep breath and in a terrified voice that was trying desperately not to sound frightened, “DAMIEN LORD OF DARKNESS AND ALL HE SEES?”

Vincent started laughing. He couldn’t help it. The boy was pathetic. Still holding onto “The Lord of Darkness,” Vincent continued to laugh. He heard Kari laughing as well. Morgan finally picked himself off the floor and stood, trying to look dignified. Since his hair was out of place and his shirt was untucked, he failed magnificently. It made Vincent laugh even harder. He heard a few of Morgan’s meals tittering nervously. Vincent felt the heat rise in him again along with a hard heavy need. He had not eaten upon waking, and his body was starting to protest. Still laughing, he looked back into the eyes of Damien, Lord of Darkness. The boy would serve as a lesson to Morgan and his ‘disciples’. Lightning quick, in the middle of a laugh, he pulled Damien’s neck to his mouth and pierced the soft skin with his sharp teeth. He drank deep, meaning to drain the boy. Vincent was so absorbed by the hot liquid running down his throat that he didn’t enjoy the screams of the other young ones.

Daily Prompt: precedence

This is late, as I was in bed with MS fatigue this morning. It is what it is.
This is from the newly rewritten section, by the way. Still working on it.

From Protector of the Grey House:

Mierka brought the stake to her mouth and licked the blood that coated it. Vincent growled at her actions. She gave him a smirk. “You usually like when I lick the stake.”

He growled. “Twice.”

She handed the stake off to Joseph and looked to Vincent. “The first time was to stop you from killing Natalia. The second was to stop you from killing me. I will take my usual punishment.”

“You do not dictate my actions.” He spoke through clenched teeth.

“No, I don’t. But you have set the precedence on this.” She still spoke mildly and didn’t look at all worried about her actions or his.

He bared his fangs and turned his anger on Joseph. “She skates on thin ice.”

Book reviews and lazy plots

In the past year, I volunteered to read a book from a local writer, and responded to three separate cold reviews from authors I did not know.

What is a cold review? It’s what I’ve decided to call how writers have been reaching out to me on Twitter for a review. In the past year, three writers have approached me on twitter through private messages and asked if I would read and review their books. “Cold review” because I don’t know who they are and they don’t know who I am, much like ‘cold calling’ sales people do. They ask if I would read and review their already published book. For the first two who reached out, I said, “Yes!” and “Sure.” For the third, I stated I would right a review regardless of how good it was. The writer was ok with that.

Also in this list is a general review of a book a local writer wanted reviewed. They reached out on FB to find a few reviews not just one person. I am including that one in this review for reasons that will become obvious later. Names and titles are not being listed as I’m not trying to call anyone out.

Book one:

The first book I reviewed within the past year was written by a local writer I’ve met a few times. I only had one issue with this book. Overall a good book, with a good plot and well written characters. There were some editing errors, but it’s almost impossible to read a book with zero errors, therefore I ignore those and wrote a favorable review. It was a good book despite one issue, which I will go into at the end of this, as it ties into the fourth book.

Book two:

The second book I agreed to review I didn’t end up finishing. The book was published through a small publisher. The pacing was so slow and the characters so completely uninteresting that I gave up maybe 40 pages in and told the writer, sorry, I will not be able to finish.

Book three:

The next book kept reminding me of a much better book a friend of mine wrote. My friend’s book had a clear delineation between “poor” and “rich” areas, where the rich lived in cities in the air, and the poor lived on the streets far below, in the old city. His book was filled with incredible imagery, which still sticks with me years after reading it. The book I tried to review this year, was not. It felt like it was part X of I don’t know how many. I was lost half the time and the formatting was so poor, I wasn’t sure it if was on purpose or not. Sometimes when the narrator spoke, it was in italics, sometimes it wasn’t. There were other formatting glitches, but I can’t remember them. When I was done reading the book, I reached out to the writer and told them I did not like it and stated if I did review the book, it would not be favorable. Then I asked if he wanted me to write it anyway. He did no. So, I didn’t. But I almost wish I had.

Book four:

When the next writer reached out, I told them I was going to review the book good or not, due to my previous experiences. I wish I had just told them I wasn’t going to read it. Or simply ignored the message.

I just finished the fourth book. This is book one of an unknown number. The book was originally published in 2014. The second book has not been published. I have had a hard time getting my second book for my (already written but not edited) trilogy published. I don’t blame the author for the long time in between books. It happens. But, as I am writing a general review of four books and not a specific review for his book, you can probably guess I didn’t like this one either. And you’d be right. I didn’t.

There were two main stories going on, possible three. Therefore, three sets of main characters. And though some of the plot was interesting, it wasn’t interesting enough for me to want to read more. Also, all the characters were typical men/women/evil. Group ‘a’ had three characters. Group ‘b’ had too many to recall. Group ‘c’ has 2 characters, but their chapters were so short, it was almost like they were a mistake.

A catastrophe happens leaving three people alive on an island. Many things happen to put the characters at odds with each other. The man in group ‘a’ didn’t talk to his wife about his fears. And his wife didn’t talk to him either. I find this troupe to be overused and lazy. If you don’t want your characters talking to further the plot, find another reason other than, ‘husband can’t talk to wife because couples don’t talk’.

Also, group ‘a’ had two women. One older, one younger. The older kept carefully seducing the younger. As the older was in a position of power, the younger went along with what the elder wanted, regardless of her own hesitation and doubt. So, rape… Rape is not exclusive to man over woman. It happens in all situations.

 The main man in group ‘b’ was an abuser and a rapist. That’s it. That’s all he was. Which is also lazy. A character whose worse traits are physical abuse and rape is overused and needs to be removed from literature.

This is where I go back to book one. The largest issue I had with that book? The main character, a woman, kidnaps another woman, then they have sex in the next chapter when the second woman wakes up. No person in their right mind would have sex with their kidnapper upon waking up from being kidnapped. I did not talk to the writer about this issue, and I left it out of the review, as I did not feel comfortable enough to bring it up.

I have never been raped and hope to go to my grave being able to continue saying that. I believe rape is a lazy writer’s way of showing someone is evil and has control over another. It is unnecessary. Find a more creative way to show a person if fucked up. There are so many, many wonderful ways to show a person is truly evil without rape being used.

That’s been on my mind for a while and I’m doing what I can in my own writing to stay away from lazy plots like those listed above.

For the book reviews, I will sit on the fourth book for a while longer and see if I decide to review it. If I do, I will post that here. For the moment, I can only say, I’m glad it was less than $2 through Kindle.

Daily Prompt: sharply

This is from the reworked section. As I have no idea if I’ve shared the old section before, you’ll just have to take my word for it that it’s better.

From Protector of the Grey House:

Rebecca turned to glance at Charlie. “Tell me quickly. I’m still trying to decide if we need a human. We may need to wake Joseph.”

He glanced sharply at his wife. “Why?”

“Tell me about Natalia.”

He shook his head. “She was real fidgety. Seemed agitated.”

“Ok?”

He placed his hand on Rebecca’s shoulder until she turned and looked at him. “Have you ever known her to fidget? When she’s agitated, or angry she shows it with anger. I don’t have a memory of her ever acting nervous.”

Rebecca’s mouth and eyes popped open wide as she thought for a moment. She took a deep breath. “Get a human. Joseph might be better in this situation. We take down with force. They do too, but he can subdue her better.”

Daily Prompt: witch

From Protector of the Grey House:

“Who is she?”

“His witch. She’s so wrapped up in the spells she’s chanting that she can’t perceive anything beyond the circle.”

“How does that happen?”

Natalia had been in the apartment before and called Diana to find out what was going on. “She’s weaving too many spells at once. It takes all her energy to weave the spells, leaving nothing to the real world.”

“What are the spells she’s weaving?”

“I only deciphered five. One is to make him warm, one is to make him immune to crosses; one is to make him immune to holy water; one is to stop the effect of a stake and one is to make sure that if someone decapitates him, it won’t kill him. He’s young enough that all that still affects him. I’m not sure about the other five. They’re in a language I can’t identify.”

“This isn’t proof.”