Twenty years ago, I came to Rockford, IL from San Francisco, CA. I never thought I would be here this long. It was supposed to be a stop along the way.
Some stops are longer than others.
In my time here, I have met some great people, and spent most of those 20 years with jason ssg, my husband.
In those 20 years, I have also earned my B.A. in English, been diagnosed with MS and lost my husband of 19 years 2 months to kidney failure.
Either today or yesterday, I was thinking about the fact that I’d been here 20 years. I think, ‘Wow, it’s been 20 years’ and wonder not where the time went, but wonder when or if I will leave the area.
I lost my husband in May of this year, and often think, ‘Wow, it’s been 5 months’ and, ‘Wow, it’s only been 5 months’.
Time is odd.
It heals all wounds, but it heals all wounds. Sometimes, we don’t think we want our wounds healed.
20 years from now, I’ll still miss my husband, but I know, having already lost my dad, that sooner than I think, I won’t miss him everyday, and I won’t wish he were here everyday, sometimes every minute.
Time is a tricky little bitch, and I hate her.