Author: catstark

I like fight scenes, but I’m never really sure if I write them correctly. I try and envision the scene in my head and write the movements. As I have only been exposed to Hollywood fights, the scenes may come off grander than possible. It’s fiction. I can live with that.

From Inside the Grey House:

The woman turned when she saw Natalia jumping toward her. As she was now the only true target, the girl aimed the bottle at her. It landed on Natalia’s outstretched arms. She closed her eyes to slits as the smell of garlic hit her. The oil, if made right, could blind a human. Since Dean was amongst the group, Natalia knew the oil would be potent. She slammed into the Slayer, opened her eyes, drew her hand back and punched the woman in the face. The girl brought the water bottle up and tried to spray her in the face. Natalia slammed the girl’s hand down on the floor, using more force than necessary. She was used to fighting vampires. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement and remembered the wooden stake in the girl’s other hand. A foot landed on that wrist before the Slayer could do anything against her.

Mierka saw Natalia launch herself at the girl, waited until the Slayer was down before moving forward. Once Natalia was straddling the Slayer, she stepped forward. Mierka saw the girl bring the wooden stake up to stab it at Natalia, and Mierka moved. The girl screamed in terror as the vampire imbedded the stiletto heel into the girl’s wrist. Meirka smirked as flesh parted and bone crunched. The smell of blood filled Mierka’s nostrils and she sighed. She gave Natalia a satisfied smile.

“I’ll take her from here.”

I thought, for a while, to stay silent with my thoughts on the protests. I thought that, as a writer, I wanted to appear neutral, to appeal to all people.

Well, my writing betrays that. The first book I published has a male lead who falls for a woman, and eventually a man. He marries them both.

I am bi-sexual, or pan-sexual, depending on the definition used. I have slept with men, women, and a trans-fluid individual. Though I am currently in a monogamous relationship, I am also polyamorous.

Often my writing reflects those beliefs. I write fantasy/romance novels and many times, the main lead ends up sleeping with opposite and same sex partners. I can’t stay neutral, my writing sure as hell does not.

I’ve decided, therefore, to write what I feel. Also, as I don’t have a huge fan base yet (but thanks to those who do read this) I feel as if I can say what I want, and no one will really notice. Which, for a couple reasons, is rather cathartic. This site gives me the voice I need. It may be a voice in the dark, but it is still there.

Another reason I have been reluctant to say much is because, well, my heritage is French American. I’m white. I think right now, a lot of us whites need to shut the hell up and let people of color have their say.

But we all need a voice. Even if to just get the frustrations out about an unjust system. So here we go. Here’s my thoughts. They will continue to ramble.

I have not seen the video of George Floyd being murdered. I can’t. I get sick just thinking of it. Real violence makes me want to throw up. I know what happened, though, and that has to be enough.

It was wrong what happened to him; to all people of color killed by cops. It will continue to be wrong. It needs to STOP.

The systemic racism that this country hides behind needs to JUST FUCKING STOP.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been part of the problem. I hope I haven’t been, but I am not the one to judge that. If I have wronged you in the past, I do not ask for forgiveness, I ask for education. Tell me what I did wrong and I will make sure I don’t do it again.

I am not against the protests. They are necessary to help the country/world see what is truly happening. Here’s the thing: the person in charge of this country doesn’t give a fuck. The racism and abuse of power by cops will not stop during this presidency. The dunce won’t allow it. Keep fighting anyway. Because fuck him and fuck the system that allows the abuse of power by cops to continue.

The saddest thing about the protests: the same systemic racism they are fighting against during the pandemic, is the same thing that will cause their own deaths. Not because of the protests themselves, though that has and will claim more lives, but because percentage wise, covid-19 kills more black people. Why? They have worse health. Why? Systemic racism.

When you’re poor, you don’t go to the doctor, because well, that’s expensive. You skip medications when you’re told you need them. You take whatever job you can, which is usually not the best. Also, when you’re poor, you eat worse. Because junk food and fast food are cheap. Though the majority of poor people are Native American (I looked it up) the second largest group by race is black.

Poor people eat badly, don’t take care of their health because they can’t afford to, and end up with the diseases that will make it easier for covid-19 to kill them. And currently, because of the epidemic, they are gathering in large, large groups. Yes, a lot of them are wearing masks, but when tear gas is used, all masks are off. Because there is no choice.

These people are going to die from the same system they are fighting against.

I realize there is a lot of conjecture in this post; if you’re curious on how everything connects, please look it up. There is so much out there to find. The internet makes is so easy to find, even for someone who hates looking things up. (I hate searching the internet. Unless I know exactly what I am looking for, I can’t find it.) But finding poor people by race, covid-19 deaths by race, that’s easy. And the underlying diseases that are aiding in the covid-19 deaths, easy. And why those health issues exist in the first place, easy. Look it up; educate yourself.

Now that I’ve rambled on and on, the only thing I can think to say to sum up is this: Black Lives Matter. Stop acting as if they don’t.

After healing from (SPOILERS REDACTED) Natalia is talking with a healer while eating some lamb stew. As we learned in Book One, Vincent has humans on his lands, and they farm lamb.

From Inside the Grey House:

“It’s lamb stew. There’s also bread, cheese, fruits and vegetables.” Eva was holding a tray with the other items. She was resting the tray on the edge of the tub, seemingly waiting for her to want it. Gail set a glass and a pitcher of water to her other side.

Natalia gave a nervous but proud laugh. “I feel like royalty.”

Lilly was carefully massaging conditioner into Natalia’s hair. “Stay with Vincent long enough and you will be.”

Natalia pulled away to look back at Lilly. She frowned at her healer. “What do you mean?”

“You’re Vincent’s woman. After you learn the ways of his House, you’ll run it.”

Natalia frowned. “Sounds archaic.”

“You’ll be given everything you want.”

I love writing seduction scenes. This one is mixed with dialogue, but Vincent still seduces Natalia.

From Inside the Grey House:

“That’s what I’m trying to find out. I need some more time.”

The large vampire walked to his human and slipped his arms around her waist. “Does it really matter tonight, Natalia? Everyone is here. The Slayers aren’t coming here. If they are, my guards will take care of them long before they reach the house.”

“Is Kim back?”

“Joseph is on surveillance duty. As soon as he heard what happened, he would have called her and ordered her back here. She’s on her way.” His voice was soft against her ears; one hand was caressing her jawline and neck.

Natalia’s eyes closed at his gentle, cool touch. What would she gain by reviewing the information tonight? “Should I shower first?”

“Let me wash you.”

Her gasp of anticipation was enough of a response.

This is the only use of the word ‘pursuit’ in the book. It’s a temptation scene between Natalia and Vincent.

From Inside the Grey House:

“What if I want you to take my blood?”

His lips were at her ear again. She could feel the cool air tickling her ear lobe. “It’s not smart to tempt me with such a dangerous pursuit, Natalia.”

She leaned into him fully then arched her back and neck, tempting him further. There was an edge to his usually controlled voice; she wanted to see how far she could push him. Her hands wove behind her to entwine around his neck, bringing his head closer to her elongated neck. His hands tightened around her waist and shoulders, attempting to hold her still. She moved her body back and forth slightly

Vincent Grey is an imposing man, due to his height and the manner in which he carries himself. Not everyone can keep his gaze.

From Inside the Grey House:

Kari looked away from the imposing man. Janice stepped forward and continued. “Vincent, please. I’ve lived a long time. All I want is to have the ability to leave the area. I don’t want to be under anyone’s rule anymore. I don’t know what these two want, but I want my freedom.”

He crossed his arms and looked to Janice, addressing only her. “And if I help you?”

She gave a sideway glance to Morgan and Kari. “Perhaps we can discuss that privately?”

Vincent stared her down or tried to. He held his gaze and did not waver under his hard scrutiny. Finally, he nodded. “That won’t be necessary.” He looked to Joseph, nodded and looked back to Janice. “If you have anything to say to me, speak to Joseph. You have my assistance.”

Relief flooded her features. “Thank you.”

I like describing the houses the characters live in. With a rather old vampire, it was easy to decide on dragon themed furniture. Because yes.

From Inside The Grey House:

The room was similar to the one in her dream, but not exact. There was no canopy on this bed, but the sheets and bedding were a deep blood red. She stopped thinking about the dream for a moment as the bed seemed to call to her, inviting her to lie down. The comforter looked thick and luxurious. The sheets shimmered like silk, and probably were. To stop herself from laying down on the bed, she continued to look around to try and find other similarities with her dream. There was a nightstand on each side of the bed, with a dragon lamp accentuating the dragon legged tables. A chair of the same hue as the furniture in the sitting room was leaning against one wall. There were doors along each wall of the room, broken up only by the large bay window. There was a drawn curtain half hiding the view of the surrounding land.

Lilly cleared her throat, indicating they should continue. It took a moment for Natalia to move; she was staring at the view. Before moving she concluded that it was not the same view as in her dream. Something was missing, but she didn’t know what. Lilly finally pulled at her arm. Natalia started walking again, still trying to see the view in her dream. It wouldn’t come. She closed her eyes and followed Lilly through the only open door. The master bathroom was larger, as was the round tub. The tub was to the left of center. There was a square shower stall about five feet by five in the far right corner. Next to it was a counter with two sinks. The toilet was in the far left corner, mostly hidden behind a curtain.

I’ve had bad insomnia most of this wee (not falling asleep before 2am). Therefore, I wanted to find a passage about a character waking up refreshed, as that is the most fantastical thing I could ever write about. Apparently, no one wakes refreshed in this book. Therefore here’s Natalia waking up to a rather interesting scenario:

From Inside the Grey House:

The evening came with less confidence as Natalia woke to an empty bed. It was sometime after sunset, the curtains were drawn, but there was no light coming through the windows. There was a knock at the door, and she realized that was what woke her in the first place.

“Come in.” Her voice was groggy and hoarse, but the door opened just the same. Mierka came in holding a tray of food. Natalia sat up in bed and pulled the sheet with her to cover her body. “What’s going on?”

“You’ve been summoned.”

Natalia frowned. Vincent rarely summoned her. If he needed her, he usually came to her, especially when she was in bed. “By whom?”

“Edwin.”

When the word “go” came up in the prompt, I almost changed it without looking for it in the book. I decided, “What the hell?” and searched for it. I use “go” 54 times. Less than I expected. It’s an easy word to use. I’m sure we, a humans and writers, use it all the time.

In this scene, Joseph, a vampire, has been impaled by a wooden staff. He and others are figuring out how best to remove it.

From Inside the Grey House:

Joseph let go of Vincent’s wrist and pushed himself back a little. Grasping the staff, he pulled it out enough so that the end was no longer sticking out of his back. He flipped over, already starting to heal.

Kimberly watched as he moved, shaking her head. “That’ll work too.” She straddled him and grasped the staff. “Fast or slow, boss?”

“Do it quickly.” Joseph was feeling better. He heard several people run into the room and felt even better. Mierka was back with blood. His lover was by his side before Kimberly could pull the staff out, indicating she should wait.

From Inside the Grey House:

“That could be disastrous. If Vincent found out…”

“Anthony, your job is to protect Vincent. If he’s being duped, you need to find out.”

“Do you really think I should have her followed?”

“No, but someone needed to say it.”

He turned back to her and sighed. “She would be able to throw the person off her scent. She’s rather good at that.”

“What about Wayne?”