Non Fiction – Page 4

Update on life

Hello! I feel like I’ve been ignoring this page. It hasn’t been intentional, I’ve just been very busy. After my very successful book signing (thanks to all who came out!), I’ve also been looking for a new place to live (found one!) and had a very exciting and very good change to my life.

And I think my muse is on vacation… Seriously, she does this every year.

Hang in there, I will return with more things for you to read. Just bare with me. I need time to move and time to enjoy the new man in my life. I will start posting again, hopefully in October, after I’m moved into my new place.

Hopefully my muse agrees.

Until then, don’t forget to be creative! Thank you for your patience.

December 19, 2013

I hate to admit it, but my depression is back, which means that though it is not as bad as it has been, it is there and affecting my desire to be creative. I have not written anything in my new book for a while, and have had little desire to post anything new to this site.

But, that happens. I will post a poem as well tonight, but it has been difficult to keep up. Sometimes, I just have to be silent. I thank those of you who know me to keep your jokes/comments to yourself on that one. (smirk)

Also, by March 31st (deadline clock will be added to this site soon) I would like to have my first novel published through Amazon. I want to concentrate my efforts there, and get that finished. I will be rereading the novel, entitled “The Elven Prince”, writing the synopsis (which I hate doing) and posting said synopsis here. Once that synopsis is done, I’ll probably have one or two people read the novel over to get opinions.

It will be people I know reviewing the novel, but once I post the synopsis, if you think it sounds readable, or not, let me know! I really love hearing stuff like that, even if it’s bad.

At any rate, thanks for reading and as always, go forth and create!

Thanksgiving

So, as I posted last week, my NaNoWriMo project is done, and I started a new novel. I’ve written 2 1/2 chapters in the past week, but only 250ish words in the past two days. I think it has to do with it being very close to Thanksgiving. My late husband’s favorite holiday was Thanksgiving. Jason and a friend of ours would go all out and have a huge potluck for all our friends in the area that didn’t have family or didn’t want to hang out with family. Crazy food was served (last year, he attempted poutine), and other things. Too many to remember.

We would hold these crazy shindigs at our friend Tim’s house. Everyone would show up, eat too much, drink if they wanted to and in general just have a grand old time. This year, to stop myself from looking to the door every time someone comes in, in the vague hope that Jason shows up, I’m headed to my sister’s place out of town. I think it’s best.

I really wanted to add more words to my new novel, lots of new words, before the end of November, but I think I’m just going to be happy with finishing my 18th novel and starting a new one. I’ll keep working at the new one and post the word count periodically (weekly), but it won’t be a daily thing. It wasn’t posted here daily, but was on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/catstarkwriter

Point to all this? (feel like I’m rambling) I am missing my Jason tonight, and wanted to get that out, but I am also posting a poem and I feel like posting a bit of my new novel too. Not sure I’m going to, but I really think that might be fun to do. Yes, yes I am going to post a little of my new novel. There may be typos as I have not had a final read through. Sorry if there are and well, deal with it. I don’t have a professional editor.

Final thoughts of the evening: if you celebrate Thanksgiving have a good one, if you don’t, well, have a good one anyway. Stay safe and as my favorite writer Neil Gaiman says, “Make good art.”

Peace.

Still writing for Nanowrimo

11-22-13 1969 words of the new novel added.

Finally have a working title that I like: Journey of the Gods. It’s about a character created while writing Lost Sister. That makes this kind of a part 2, but not really, as it does not center around the same characters as the first one. It does take place in the same world, though.
It’s only the 2nd novel I’ve written from the viewpoint of a male.

Here’s the rundown as I see it so far. I haven’t finished writing it yet, so it may change as I go.

18 year old Yochi is about to go through his coming of age ritual, but feels far from ready. The day of the ritual, he tells his father, Chief of the Nayians, that he refuses to go through the ritual. Before the chief can protest, Oyama, the woman Yochi loves, steps forwards and says he must go on the Journey of the Gods. Yochi agrees, and the couple set out together to find the answers to his trepidation.

So there you go. Oh, and by the way, it’s a little frustrating that I have a synopsis for an unfinished novel when I don’t have one for the novels I’ve finished. Such is life.

So it was bugging me that I have a synopsis for Journey of the Gods but not for Lost Sister, so I wrote one. And it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, so that’s a plus! Here it is:

On an expedition to Naya, Nikki finds love, unearths lies and discovers she is not who she thinks she is. But with the handsome Nayian warrior Ichik by her side, Nikki feels she can take on the anything.

Nanowrimo Part 2

Well, it’s November 18 and my experiment appears to be done. After writing as often as I could the past 18 days, I have finished my 18th novel.
Ok, that’s just cool. 18 & 18.
With 71040 words, I have completed the first draft of my 18th novel.

I am very glad I did this experiment.

Has this experiment conquered all that ails me? Nope.
Did I think it would? Nope.
Has it taught me something? Several things. And that’s what counts.
That and the fact that I have 18 books finished.

Holy crap.

New stuff

Due to my Nanowrimo decision, I probably won’t be posting something every Wednesday. Not that I’ve ever been that great at keeping a schedule, but hey, I’ve been trying.

That being said, when I want to post something I will. Have a great holiday season and always remember to create things, even if it’s something no one else will appreciate.

Nanowrimo

As some of you know, I suffered a huge loss this past year, with the passing of my husband of 19 years. My creativity has taking a hit due to that. But this is Nanowrimo. In the spirit of Nanowrimo, I have decided to do something that may end up being tough for me.

I am not starting a new project, I’m going to try and finish one. I have a book in mind I’ve been working on for a while, and I’m going to try and write a little each day to see if I can get it done. Though Nanowrimo is about starting and finishing a novel, at this point, I just want to finish something.

I’ve been in a fog for the past few months, a fog that has not allowed me to write of even think clearly. I’ve had a few moments of clarity, when things pop through, but it’s been tough. Between 2005 and April of this year, I’d written over 1 million words, which went to 17 finished novels, various short stories, and about 25 unfinished novels. Since April, I’ve barely written.

To some, the amount I write now probably seems like a lot, but for me, it’s not enough. I know I need time, but I want very badly to see if I can jump start the creative juices and get my head in the game again. I think this is the perfect month for that.

So here it goes. The novel, currently entitled Lost Sister, has 53481 words.

In the spirit of Nanowrimo, I’m going to work on adding a few words each day and hope to keep you updated on the amount of words I have. Since it is a project mostly done, I will not be using Nanowrimo and their web pages, but if you’re curious about it, I encourage you to search for their page and check it out. It’s an interesting project for writers.

I’ll keep you updated in the comments with word count and date. If I go a few days without posting, that does mean I haven’t written anything, but please be patient. Just deciding to do this was tough for me.

Thank you all, and have fun writing.

Time heals all wounds, but do we want it to?

Twenty years ago, I came to Rockford, IL from San Francisco, CA. I never thought I would be here this long. It was supposed to be a stop along the way.

Some stops are longer than others.

In my time here, I have met some great people, and spent most of those 20 years with jason ssg, my husband.

In those 20 years, I have also earned my B.A. in English, been diagnosed with MS and lost my husband of 19 years 2 months to kidney failure.

Either today or yesterday, I was thinking about the fact that I’d been here 20 years. I think, ‘Wow, it’s been 20 years’ and wonder not where the time went, but wonder when or if I will leave the area.

I lost my husband in May of this year, and often think, ‘Wow, it’s been 5 months’ and, ‘Wow, it’s only been 5 months’.

Time is odd.

It heals all wounds, but it heals all wounds. Sometimes, we don’t think we want our wounds healed.

20 years from now, I’ll still miss my husband, but I know, having already lost my dad, that sooner than I think, I won’t miss him everyday, and I won’t wish he were here everyday, sometimes every minute.

Time is a tricky little bitch, and I hate her.

Advice for the living

When my husband Jason died, there were many things I did not have to worry about. All our bills, our two vehicles, the apartment, were in my name. There were only a couple minor things I had to get changed into my name. This caused a very difficult situation to be not as difficult.

My husband’s death caused many of my married friends to talk about things they would not normally think about. Some have approached me for further advice. I willingly gave it. Another friend encouraged me to write things down so that maybe I can help others. Maybe even reach people I don’t know. So here it is. Advice on things you should talk to your spouse/significant other about in case something should happen to them.

1) Make sure your spouse knows all your passwords to your various social media, emails and other such things. I don’t and I am now afraid of what will happen to Jason’s Facebook page if I can’t get his password. I don’t want it deactivated due to inactivity. Such a small thing often feels huge during times like this.

2) If you pay all the bills, make sure your spouse knows how to access them and how/when to pay them. Are they emailed to you? Make sure your spouse sees them too. Also wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk to the companies that own your bills to see how difficult it would be to get everything switched into their name should the unthinkable happen.
That includes: car, loans, mortgage, utilities, EVERYTHING that has to be paid, or is in your name, make your spouse and you know the ins and outs of all the bills.

3) If something does happen, and you have to get the bills switched over, call the company at a time you’re feeling less terrible. Try not to cry. Have a friend there with you if that is needed. Do not tell them they have to help you. Say: My spouse died. The bill (mortgage, whatever) was in their name. What do I need to do to have it changed into my name?
I had to contact two places and they helped me over the phone. I assumed I would have to send something (death certificate) in. I did not. As I have worked customer care for years, I feel that my calm attitude, and the fact that I was asking for help, not demanding it, had a lot to do with the fact that we could take care of things over the phone.

4) Have extra death certificates. Hated having extra, still have a few too many, but you never know which companies will ask for one.

5) Jason and I did not have kids, so I can’t give any advice on that, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was advice out there from a widow or widower that is also a parent.

6) Lastly. If you are a homosexual couple, I would imagine that there are far more things you have to worry about when your spouse dies, as the laws do not protect you yet. I have read a few heartbreaking articles on homosexual couples losing everything due to the fact that our laws in the States still suck for you guys. Find out how to protect yourselves legally to ensure that your things remain your things should your partner die. It is already a difficult thing when a spouse dies. Having the security of power of attorney may make things less horrid.

That’s all I have for the moment. If I have more, or if you have questions, I’ll add more. Peace and good health to all.

Day 5 June 5, 2009

I’ve been so groggy; I didn’t even feel like writing until now. It’s 9:45am and I am hooked up to my last dose of Campath. Andy stuck me once and everything went fine.

I am exceedingly groggy due to the sleep meds from last night. Took it at 9pm. The nurses were adamant about making sure I did not take the meds until I was actually in bed, ready to sleep. So I got ready for bed, took the pill and got ready to sleep. Then my phone rings. Jason had a show last night, and was wondering if there was a speaker in the van, as he seemed to have lost one. Not sure if he found it, but I know it wasn’t in my van. Weird that a large speaker can disappear like that. Hopefully he found it.

After the phone call, I fell asleep, and didn’t wake until right before my alarm went off at 7am. Didn’t want to get up though. I felt like I could still sleep. Took a long time for me to get up. Went to breakfast, barely coherent, and noticed no yummy Indian food. L

I had scrambled eggs with Tabasco sauce (a little bit only) and potatoes. Nice and filling, but nothing spectacular. Still feeling half asleep, I wandered back to my room, slowly got ready and came here. I am still not sure I’m fully awake. Struggling a bit with mental facility. I will be napping.

I napped the whole time I was at the clinic. Andy stuck me once, they hooked me up to the IV, turned off the lights and I was out. The time went quick, due to sleeping, and before I knew it, I was done. Done, with my first year of meds.

It was anti-climactic.

Cathy came in around four and we talked about expectations and schedules. We will be talking every 2 weeks, and every four weeks I will be getting blood drawn. Luckily, there is a group that can come to Rockford and draw my blood from my home. Every three months, I’ll actually have to drive down to Northbrook for blood tests, but that’s not that bad.

Cathy gave me a list of my visits for the next five years. All listed out to the year 2013. When looking at the dates all written out, it makes me feel pretty good, because it shows that the drug company and the doctors and nurses in charge of this study want only to take care of the patients who have volunteered to test out this drug. I am very glad this is happening.

I’m in my motel room now, thinking on the past few days, wondering what the next few years are going to bring for me. I hope greatly that this treatment works for me as well as it has other MS patients.